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[personal profile] vrisanfra_import
I do not much care if you don't like the crap parts of fronting (ie, the shitty work days or the shitty Choriss-body days). I do not much care if you don't like being on call, and I don't much care if it's mildly inconvenient for you. It's part of the job, and it was agreed to. Inconveniences that can be reasonably managed? Both "good and bad" parts of being in the bio-body? Being on call when needed? Needing to go a bit out of your way to manage to be around to help? Part of being on the fronting staff. No job is going to be all fluff and bunnies and joy, and if you can't deal with that, you're not going to be able to functionally be on the fronting staff. I have been dealing with the shit, dealing with being on call against my will, dealing with having to go extravagantly out of my way (including giving up the rare moments of joy in my life that I can hope to have, including putting myself in extravagant amounts of physical, mental, emotional, and energetic pain), to contribute to this front for over 20 years. And guess what, I have as active, or more active, an out-there life as all of you.

If I can do that much, I don't see why I have to deal with being whined at by you lot when you have to give even 20% of what I do. If I have to come up here to save your asses, you have to come up here to save my ass, or whoever's ass is in front. Get the fuck over it or stop thinking that you're doing your job as a fronter. To date, Kae, Craimar, Riana, Aiden, Kaden, Brigh, Shadow, Vincent, Ella, and a scant few others, are really the only fronters who take the good with the bad without whining. There are many of you on the fronting list, and all of them have  lives just as active as mine, just as active as yours-and far more active than most of yours. They're the only ones who accept what they accepted with any degree of grace. They're the only ones who, when they need leave, ask for it as according protocol, instead of just disappearing and conveniently going out of contact. The rest of you? That's a laugh. The rest of you use excuses to cop out of dealing with anything you don't want to deal with. To keep from having to put any EFFORT in. And really, it's getting on my damned nerves. The only acceptable excuses for not fronting are when you cannot manage to keep singlet face. And you know what? All of you people on the fronting staff can keep singlet face if you really put in effort. The "Oh my god I FEEL SOMETHING from the work THIS IS TOO MUCH I AM GOING NOW" crap? It doesn't fly.

And I'm this close from saying "fuck this" to coming up here to save your asses just because "OMG SOMETHING IS HARD". Yeah, something is hard. But regarding this body? I've put in my dues. I still put in my dues. Now its time for those who agreed to do the same, to do it. And I'm this close from knocking anyone who can't deal down the status list on fronting. No full fronting access to the people who won't put in full effort. Half ass effort, half ass contribution, half ass access. And the ones who are REALLY being lazy ass bastards? You can get knocked down to "emergency fronter". The "Oh hi, you don't get to front no matter how much you like it unless there's literally no one else closeby, and when you do you are babysat". I'm fucking sick of making myself ill, injuring myself, to cater to your little spoiled asses. If you are my kids, you were raised better. If you are my family, you know better. Start fucking acting like it. Or I will crack down on people. Because you know what? Yeah, I need fronters. Yeah, I can't do this by myself. But you know what? The RELIABLE fronters I have won't let me go down because others are being fucktards. So I won't go down. And then you'll have more than just me angry at you. And really? I'm being fucked over by being in front too much ANYWAY. So what would be the difference? No fallbacks? My supposed fallbacks aren't reliable in any stretch of the mind, and aren't doing their jobs anyway. So all that would be happening is making the reality existant on paper, too. I've been waiting for people to get their heads out of their asses for a long time now, and if I have to cut access? I'll be as strict about that, as I've been lenient until now. Start fucking following the rules, and the contract and agreement signed and agreed to. I have those things in writing for a REASON.

Do the job you agreed to do. This is not a vacation. This is a job with benefits. Nice, tasty benefits. But a JOB. Nothing is fluffy and happy 100% of the time. Nothing comes with a fallback bitch to take out the garbage. And if you lot think that you can just shunt off all the crap onto me, if you lot think that it's perfectly ok to put me through hell because you're not willing to share any of the load LIKE IS WRITTEN IN THE AGREEMENT, then what should I call any claim you all make of caring for me, of wanting to help me with the load I carry? What should I call those claims, if anything but a lie? I'm your family, not the cleanup woman. Not the housemaid. Not the garbage lady. Fucking treat me like it. If you really appreciate what I do for you like you all claim, some return would be fitting.


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Rachel O'Callaghan

October 2010


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